Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
