as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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