i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
