Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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