Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize