hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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