He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
