Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
