see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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