I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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