Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
