so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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