i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
