i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
