Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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