he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize