his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
