i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
