If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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