And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize