Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Panties = found
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
