I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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