Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
