woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
