She is in my trunk
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
