OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
