we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
