hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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