i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
