The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
