she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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