real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
