At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
