Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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