i think my tv is drunk
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
