Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You may now shotgun with the bride
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
