I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
