i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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