i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
