nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
