It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize