What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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