Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
