omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
