He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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