I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I cut my penus on the lid.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize