woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I got inside last night via doggy door
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize