ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
