I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
