Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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