my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
