I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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