going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
