I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize