Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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