I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
