she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
