she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
