Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize