i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
