Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
