Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
