I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
