Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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