have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
