I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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