Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
soo... how was my night?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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