i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
