She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
