if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
worst night to have a conscience
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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