Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize