left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
