good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
