Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
two words: eviction party
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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