Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The power of my boobs compel you
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
