I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
