that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Of course I have a pirate flag
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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