o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
