so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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